Cancer: Why Some People Fail to Find Healing
By Chris Teo, Ph.D.
Many patients come to us with high expectations. They come looking for the magic bullet. They want a cure for their cancers. And they come most often after all medical treatments have failed them. Surely this is extremely unrealistic. Some even reached the point of being absurd -- expecting miraculous results within one or two weeks!
A lady and her two daughters traveled for five hours by bus to see us. The lady had colon cancer that had spread to the liver. She was on oral 5-FU. As the three visitors sat down by my table, the daughters requested us not to tell their mother that she had cancer. That was a fair request. But, when I turned to the patient, she blurted out that she did not want to take herbs. Then, why come and see me?, I asked. I told her that I was not a magician. Healing needs genuine effort on her part and if she was not prepared to help herself, nobody else could.
From experience, NOT all who come and see us find their healing. If you are interested in statistics, only 30% of those who came to seek our help benefited or found healing in one way or another. Many came on a fishing trip, hoping to find a magic potion and some luck. Let me share with you some factors from my observations as to why people can or cannot find their healing.
1) Fear. Many who come are generally in panic and lost in fear. They get thrown off-course after being told of their cancer diagnosis. And things are made worse when they are pressured to go for immediate treatments: surgery, chemotherapy or radiotherapy -- sometimes, by tomorrow or the day after, or else the cancer will spread like wild fire. Indeed, this is sad misinformation! Cancer patients should know that any decision made in a state of fear and panic is never a good decision. We often tell patients to take it easy. Calm down so as to have some space and peace. Decide what your priorities are -- to live longer or a quality life? Take a bit of time to think things over, evaluate the strategy and seek a second or third opinion before you commit your life into someone elses hands. Committing your life and believing in only one doctor is perhaps not the best option. It may even be the beginning of a wrong journey.
2) Ignorance. There is a Chinese saying: The road to health is the road of knowledge. Ignoring knowledge is to end up with sickness. Many people who come to us are basically ignorant of their own health and are caught off-guard when faced with cancer! Almost overnight they have to cope with a life-or-death problem for which they are not prepared for. There is another Chinese saying: You dont sharpen your sword while in the battlefield! Or, start to dig a well when you are thirsty. But how many people actually practise this? In fact, many well-to-do, healthy people do not read or want to know about cancer when they are still healthy. To them it is a taboo, which will probably bring bad luck.
Many cancer patients have the impression that after surgery, chemotherapy or radiotherapy they are cured of their cancer. One cancer patient, Devi (not real name) told me: I have not read much about cancer and after I have had my radiotherapy I thought I was cured! I was sent for a scan and the doctor said there was no evidence of cancer. That was it. I thought that was the end of cancer. I never ever conceived that the cancer would ever come back again. I thought I was cured. Exactly a year later, I had a relapse of the lymphoma. And Devi is not a village housewife or any person on the street. She is a lawyer!
3) Quick fix and instant noodles mentality. As said earlier, a majority of patients who come to see us expect a quick fix. This is unfortunate and we tell them in no uncertain terms that we do not have a magic bullet to do such a thing. Healing takes time. But most people want things the easy way and fast.
4) Kiasu, translated means -- afraid to lose. This is an expression to describe an attitude of only wanting to win and seeking healing on their own terms. Many patients have the impression that managing cancer is as simple as taking a pill for a headache. Unfortunately with cancer, it is very much more complex than that. We need to change our mental attitude, our lifestyle and our diet besides undergoing all the treatments and taking drugs. Even after they have suffered relapses from their cancers, many patients do not seem to realise or learn that there are more than just the medical treatments, if they want to regain their wellness. They insist on playing the game according to their own rules -- seeking to be healed on their own terms. Another sore point we encounter is the change to a good and nutritious diet. They would insist on eating whatever they like. They are not happy when told to avoid unhealthy food.
5) Complacence. Those who are really sick very often come with open ears to our advice. They readily agree to practise what we advise them to do. I often tell them this: When you are dying you will listen and follow what I advise you, but when you are a bit better you curse me! As patients become more energetic and regain their appetite they start to be fussy and demand to go back to their old lifestyle. So, we always remind patients not to be complacent even after they feel well. The cancer may come back. If you think you are done with cancer, remember, cancer may not be done with you yet.
Our advice to cancer patients is to be positive always. Learn to take things easy. We also hope that their healing experience has changed their lifestyle and attitude to life positively, and permanently. Often people ask me this question: When can I go back to my old favorite food? Some people learn easily while some learn things the hard way. Many others do not seem to want to learn at all. Our answer to such a question is well known: Never go back to your old unhealthy habits. But later, if for some reasons, you decide that you are bored or tired with life -- then indulge in whatever you want, and pray that you go quickly and peacefully.
The second question often asked of me is: When can I stop taking the herbs? There are many patients who have been on the herbs for the past three to ten years and they are still taking them. While on this, my mind goes back to a pretty lady -- our friend Su, a matron in a hospital. She had thyroid cancer and was one of our earliest patients. The doctor told her that she would not be able to get her voice back and her prognosis was not good. She took Capsule A herb and drank fresh rodent tuber juice. In addition, she underwent radioiodine treatment. She became well and could even sing in the church choir. She became whole again. One evening she came to CA Care with a nice cake as a present for us. The cake was loaded with sugar and it really disappointed me! A few months later, we learnt that Su was not well again. We called Sus husband and asked if we could be of any help. It was too late as the cancer had spread to her lungs. She was breathless and died soon afterwards. We went to her house and talked to her husband, a staff of a health department. I asked him this frank question: Why did Su stop taking the herbs? His answer was: We thought that the problem was over. We were over-confident because she had recovered so well. So we stopped the herbs and went back to eating our catered bad food again.
Indeed, patients do have choices. So exercise that prerogative wisely. Reflect on the above true story. For me, if at all there is a lesson to learn or advice to give, let not Su die in vain -- she has a message for you.
Chris Teo, Ph.D.
For more information visit our website: http://www.cacare.com, http://www.CancerCare.com.my
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