What To Do When Your Spouse Is Diagnosed With Skin Cancer - First 5 Things You Should Do
By Lynn Rosenberg
When you get a call, like I did, from your spouse telling you his dermatologists thinks he has melanoma, the first 5 things you should do are:
1. LISTEN
Your spouse will tell you everything you need to know initially. What the doctor thinks the stage is (Melanoma is gauged in stages 1,2,3,4). No one will know forsure without a biopsy, but they have a pretty good idea.
No matter what the stage, it will have an initial distressing effect. In my case,my husbands doctor thought it was Stage 4.
After you have the facts, there are things you yourself can do. Even if its a speck, melanoma is a very serious, sometimes life-threatening disease, so you will want to consider No. 2. If it is a disturbing diagnosis, you will definitely want togo to No. 2.
2. CALL ANYONE YOU KNOW WHO HAS HAD SKIN CANCER OR KNOWS SOMEONE WHO HAS HAD SKIN
CANCER
If your friend has experienced it first hand (in the family), you will get valuable answers to the question What do I do?
The answers I got ranged from the hospital where the individual got treatment, the doctor who oversaw the treatment, the opinion of that treatment, where else the person got treated, the doctor who oversaw that treatment the opinion of that treatment, and any cancer organizations and/or websites you can go to learn about this disease.
3. RESEARCH
This is the most important single task you will do. And you are just beginning.You want to learn everything you can learn, because you never know what you will find that may help.
American Cancer SocietyAAD (American Academy of Dermatology)Institutes of Health Skin Cancer
From one of these sources friends, cancer organizations, internet, you will find treatment centers near where you live.
4. AFTER THE DIAGNOSIS HAS BEEN CONFIRMED
At some point, youre going to join your spouse at the doctors office. At this point, you will ask for a recommended Oncologist (preferably an expert in skinCancer, but not absolutely necessary).
After a course of action has been suggested, immediately find another top
medical center and doctor for a Second Opinion. And there is nothing in the
world wrong with getting a third.
Your spouse and you consider options. Sometimes there will be more
than one option. This can be extremely anxiety provoking. There is no easy
way to deal with this. You can pray, you can ask advice, but ultimately you and
your spouse (or if your spouse is comfortable, hell make his own decision) will
have to come to a decision.
No matter which way you go, who decides what, sometimes there is no sure
answer.
5. AFTER THE TREATMENT
As long as theres another day of life, and when life is at stake, you must continue researching. Researching will be your best friend.
And if you dont like the way your doctor is handling things, or maybe hes not showing enough interest with your spouses questions, or your questions, or what to do next, or anything that doesnt feel right to you, get another doctor!
Difficult as it is, we changed doctors 3 or more times. His second dermatologistoverlooked missed something so staggeringly major, I almost fainted when I discovered it. At least ten serious actions came to my mind regarding that doctor, but time and energy was needing for taking the next step.
I honestly dont remember through what source the paper, a person, a friend, told me about a doctor back east who, when appropriate, imported a drug from France that was going through trials that matched my husbands circumstances.The doctor back east studied our case, and agreed to send the drug.
In the end, I lost my husband to the disease. And we dont know for sure that the
drug from France helped, but we think it gave him 3 more years.
LYNN ROSE is the founder of Soleil Chic UV Umbrellas. After a long career as a pianist-vocalist-composer and award-winning screenwriter, Lynn changed her career after losing her husband to malignant melanoma. SOLEIL CHIC umbrellas have been seen on THE TODAY SHOW as well as in the hands of celebrities like Cate Blanchett. Soleil Chic umbrellas are endorsed by top doctors including a dermatologist, rheumatologist, plastic surgeon and professor of anatomy and neurobiology. The Mayo Clinc recommends Lynn Rose's umbrellas as well. Top resort/spas such as the Ritz-Carlton, Lake Las Vegas, and The Fairmont Kea Lani, Maui, carry her products. Soleil Chic's worldwide customer base continues to increase every day.
Visit the website @ http://www.soleilchic.com
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